@ the khor

For thine own sake, O my God by Christina Rossetti

2012-01-30T12:27:00.002+11:00

Wearied of sinning, wearied of repentance,
  Wearied of self, I turn, my God, to Thee;
To Thee, my Judge, on Whose all-righteous sentence
    Hangs mine eternity:
I turn to Thee, I plead Thyself with Thee,-
    Be pitiful to me.
Wearied I loathe myself, I loathe my sinning,
  My stains, my festering sores, my misery:
Thou the Beginning, Thou ere my beginning
    Didst see and didst foresee
Me miserable, me sinful, ruined me,-
    I plead Thyself with Thee.
I plead Thyself with Thee Who art my Maker,
  Regard Thy handiwork that cries to Thee;
I plead Thyself with Thee Who wast partaker
    Of mine infirmity,
Love made Thee what Thou art, the love of me,-
    I plead Thyself with Thee.

The Cookie Tin

2012-01-27T08:54:00.000+11:00

This is my new endeavour for 2012. The Cookie Tin is to be filled with cookies for Carillon House resos to come an take at any time they have a cookie craving.

So far it has been filled with chewy choc chip cookies, coconut macaroons, shortbread and currently lemon shortbread. Mmmm...

Sarah's super fun chocolate birthday cake

2012-01-25T18:06:00.002+11:00

It's a cake with a lotta love, 5 eggs worth to be precise. It also has a funny story to it as well :) I think it's the best chocolate cake I've ever made.

Brown Penny

2012-01-22T22:33:00.000+11:00

I was at a wedding yesterday and this poem was read. The groom had it read when he proposed... they are hip and artsy like that. I think it's nice and something that a girl can only say yes to.

Brown Penny by W. B. Yeats

I whispered, 'I am too young,'
And then, 'I am old enough';
Wherefore I threw a penny
To find out if I might love.
'Go and love, go and love, young man,
If the lady be young and fair.'
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
I am looped in the loops of her hair.
O love is the crooked thing,
There is nobody wise enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be thinking of love
Till the stars had run away
And the shadows eaten the moon.
Ah, penny, brown penny, brown penny,
One cannot begin it too soon.

Peanut Butter Cake Fun Times

2012-01-19T08:18:00.001+11:00

on the bus

2012-01-16T09:58:00.000+11:00

it's a new year

2012-01-15T23:02:00.000+11:00

I went to church today feeling like I finally know some people there. That was nice... I suppose over the last year it's been hard, but at least now it feels like those relationships are starting to form. There was a new couple at Cammeray 5:30 tonight that I had a good chat to. They are from old old school St Matthias/UNSW CU times so it was encouraging to meet them. I think I've finally flipped to 2012 and the things I need to be thinking about and doing. I'm feeling like I'm in a good place at the moment. Pray that I will be disciplined in my bible reading, prayer life and studies this year.

Other prayer points:
- pray for those students having to sit supplementary exams this week
- I'm organising our college retreat again, so pray for our committee that we'll get on top of things before semester starts so we can get people pumped up and registered. We'll be meeting on the 27th to go over things.
- pray for those who heard the gospel last week at Summerfest, that God would be at work in them
- pray for those we know who have walked away from faith in Jesus

Job 42:1-6
Then Job answered the LORD and said:
“I know that you can do all things,
   and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.
‘Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge?’
Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand,
   things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.
‘Hear, and I will speak;
   I will question you, and you make it known to me.’
I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
   but now my eye sees you;
therefore I despise myself,
   and repent in dust and ashes.”

Summerfest

2012-01-14T19:43:00.001+11:00

So I've just gotten back from Summerfest. It was preetty good and I think a great start to the year so you can ask me about it. We had about 100 kids in our section each day and taught them the bible overview of Creation to New Creation as well as having fun playing games, singing and craft. It was great to finally witness and experience what God has been doing up on the coast at CCEC or EV Church (I'm a bit confused, but it think they had a name change or something maybe).

Anyway, as leaders we heard talks on the topic of grace and I wrote this poem after the first sermon in the series, they're supposed to be online somewhere but mustn't be uploaded yet. I think that it was a good place for me to be at this time. Anyway, maybe you need to be in the 'right zone' to read this poem. It's kind of capturing the struggle with sinfulness in my heart and comfort of God's unchanging and freely given grace.

What moves within me,
that turns my heart to cinders.
The slightest ash,
that tarnishes my fingers.
A smoldering wick,
longing to ignite.
Doused with flooding waters,
but still keeping its light.
I long for something else,
that brings a sense of wonder.
My heart is broken within me,
and keeps pulling me under.
An empty satisfaction,
a feeling out of place.
Unable to resolve,
but holding on to grace.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. - 2 Cor 12:9-10

I found it!~

2012-01-02T19:39:00.000+11:00

I've been looking for this poem for some time now... maybe a few years. It is one that I've only had a vague recollection of. When I was about 11-ish I remember cutting it out from a card and that is all. I've had my suspicions that it was written by Christina Rossetti, but wasn't certain. Anyway, I found it today in my new old book :). It is the last stanza of the poem, A Christmas Carol.

What can I give Him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a Wise Man
I would do my part, -
Yet what can I give Him,
Give my heart.

my precious...

2011-12-30T20:53:00.001+11:00

I found a most beautiful and awesome book this week. It is a collection of poems by Christina Rossetti published in 1904, 1st Edition Thus. The condition isn't terrific but I fell in love with it so splurged a little and spent my Christmas money on it. I think it was a good to fair price and she is a poet that I'm quite fond of. Anyway, this one can be cataloged under, "I love old books" :)

I read Goblin Market today.

Chocolate Milkshake at El Basha

2011-12-27T11:21:00.005+11:00

I've walked past El Basha many times but have never gone in. Anyway, their chocolate milkshake was pretty nice, not only was it made with ice cream and chocolate syrup but they also added two teaspoons of chocolate powder. All up it was quite sweet but had a nice and slightly different chocolatey taste. I will have to go back to try their food sometime.

Cost $5.90
Chocolatiness 4/5
Creaminess 2.75/5
All-round Chocolate Milkshake Satisfaction 3.25/5

Search for Newtown's Best Chocolate Milkshake!!!

2011-12-26T09:52:00.003+11:00

This month I have begun a new quest - Newtown's Best Chocolate Milkshake. I began with one of my new favourite places, The Pie Tin. I've decided to rate milkshakes based on chocolatiness, creaminess and all-round milkshake satisfaction.

Chocolate Milkshake at The Pie Tin

I enjoyed this milkshake, I'm sure that they must have put ice cream in it (a good quality one at that) because it had a really nice rich creamy taste to it. It definitely satisfied my milkshake craving, which started this whole thing off.

Cost $5
Chocolatiness 3/5
Creaminess 4/5
All-round Chocolate Milkshake Satisfaction 3.5/5

Chocolate Milkshake at Bambino Torino's

My next stop was at Bambino's. For some reason I had never noticed this place (the most likely reason being that I would usually be on my way to Campos and far too distracted by my coffee addiction to notice). Anyway, a friend of mine was keen to share their pizza experience with me and he was right, Bambino's sure does have some yummy pizza! Whilst there I noticed that they also sold milkshakes and the guy started talking them up saying that they sell, "the best chocolate milkshakes" here. I took him up on his offer and returned the next day. The verdict is that Bambino's needs to stick to pizza. Pretty much I got chocolate milk, saying that it was a good amount of chocolate syrup that they put in, but I couldn't taste any ice cream. The guy also took quite a long time to make it, which I can't really understand the reason for. Not to mention that their milkshakes are priced at $6.

Cost $6
Chocolatiness 4/5
Creaminess 2/5
All-round Chocolate Milkshake Satisfaction 2/5

Chocolate Milkshake at Moo Burgers

I decided to try Moo Burgers because I saw a woman in the park with what looked to be a milkshake from there. 1 Point to Moo for having distinctive cow patterned paper milkshake cups. This may have been the first time for the girl who served me to make a chocolate milkshake as the other girl was teaching her what to put in. I was impressed that it contained two large scoops of vanilla ice-cream and a 3 second squirt of chocolate syrup. The verdict was, that although it wasn't quite "shaked" completely there was much chocolate milkshake satisfaction.

Cost $5
Chocolatiness 3/5
Creaminess 4/5
All-round Chocolate Milkshake Satisfaction 4/5

That is all I am up to so far, but I do foresee another chocolate milkshake sometime today on this hot summer's boxing day. You may be wondering why Moo Burgers didn't get a 5/5... well, that's because I myself have made better chocolate milkshakes. I used to know someone who had a milkshake machine thing a number of years ago and we used to make milkshakes from Sara Lee Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream... oh... now that's a trick for young players. I would pay $6.50 for such a milkshake.

Christmas

2011-12-24T22:16:00.001+11:00

I've been feeling a bit cynical (more than my unusual :P) and I've been thinking about where I am at the moment and trying to process things. God has been doing awesome things in my life and I have had a fantastical 2011. I'm quite looking forward to finding out what 2012 holds. At the moment I've come to the conclusion that actually I don't think I want to be married, well not at the moment anyway (not that I've ruled it out). It's neither good nor bad. It just is. Maybe I will know what is right when it's right. I know that God's doing his thing and I'm happy.
I may write a newsletter soonish but I dunno if that will eventuate, so here's an update on recent happenings:

I passed all my subjects which is really good and I'm quite happy with my marks and very thankful to God.
NTE was total awesomeness. God blessed us with an awesome Strand group, and it was heaps of fun leading with my co-leader, and I felt back to my pre-MTS self again. My mouth was so sore from talking and laughing so much. Waking up with the prospect of talking to hundreds of people each day = my dream life. Also, my only responsibility was strand leading so it was nice catching up with whoever I wanted to catch up with and talk to whoever I wanted to and also spend some funtimes with college people. It was also great getting into Micah.
NCA Church Kid's Christmas Workshop was SO good! 2 days, 175 kids. It was a lot of fun and I'm loving kids ministry again (quite the opposite to the start of this year where I was struggling with figuring out this stuff).
We had our last 'normal' Sunday School lesson for the year last Sunday and God has been very good to me. He has taught me a lot this year (as a teacher and at my new church) and the kids are great kids.
I have a packed January and will be heading up the Central Coast for a mission for 8 days which I'm looking forward to. I'll be helping with minimites looking after 80-100 kids. So please pray for this.
I have 3 weddings to go to in January which I'm very excited about.
And there is a possibility of going on a mission to PNG which I need prayer for - to work out whether this is good timing, worthwhile and something that I should do. I still need to pray more about it. It's more that it's a very short mission and I'd rather go for a few months than one week.

Okay, I think that brings us up to date :)
Have a great Christmas rejoicing in the joy of our Lord. He is full of mercy and abundant in all his blessings.

kids stuff

2011-12-15T12:12:00.000+11:00

Something inside of me likes this... the amusing unpredictability that kids bring.

This is a picture of Jesus that I snapped at Cockatoo Island...

2011-12-15T11:28:00.002+11:00

fragile days

2011-12-15T10:17:00.001+11:00

Do you ever have fragile days? Days when you get emotional for no reason. Days when you're not really sad about anything but you just feel like crying? This has been happening to me for sometime now. I'm not sure when it began but it has become a common occurrence and it is unfortunate.

I never used to be much of a cry-er, yet I've noticed if I fight it off then eventually it happens anyway, and then not in a place or time of my choosing. Crying, not because of anything in particular but just because the tears need to get out.

I've coined these 'fragile days'. When you can go to eat an apple and notice that it's bruised and start crying. Or maybe you've lost the place in your book or misplaced your keys...

I've spoken to some other women and it's apparently normal. If so, this is lame... really lame. However, I think I have succumbed to it.

stepping back into the past

2011-11-29T11:59:00.001+11:00

I've finally gotten around to sorting through a bunch of scraps/old bits and pieces of writing and I found this draft that I wrote probably around 2002ish. Before I knew anything about Jesus (from a self who had never picked up a bible or heard anything from Scripture). It's pretty interesting to me, to step back into my past thoughts. It seems like I had some concept of final judgment and human enslavement to the self. It's so interesting. God is merciful to me.

How long will it take before
We find what we're looking for
In this world
That we seem to simulate
How long until the time runs out
Before we'll finally be able to see
All our doubts
And angers from all the lifetimes
We've slaughtered
In our quest for success
How long until the journey ends
For this enslavement
Time cannot mend
For this entrapment
Which we have placed ourselves in
When will we find freedom
And free ourselves from this epiphany
Of which only cowardice and misjudgment brings forth
Why do we seem to think
That we shall be the prosecutors
And escape the final judgment.

The LORD is good to me

2011-11-26T10:21:00.001+11:00

The LORD is good to me,
more than I know.
The ways he shapes for me,
how things are so.
He saves me from my errors,
he rescues me from my follies.
He leads me against my will,
by his sovereign rule.

O how he ransoms me,
from the depths of my sin.
He spares my soul,
and works from within.
He keeps my heart,
from foolish mistakes,
and forces my path,
to where his heart takes.

The peace he gives to me,
the peace that he sows.
He takes my hand,
so that I will follow.
At points I can't quite see,
he is my surest of sight.
He is my love,
he is my light.
The LORD is good to me,
his ways are right.

prayer on suffering

2011-11-20T23:13:00.001+11:00

I thought that I was supposed to be on prayers tonight at church to fill in for someone but then someone else prayed. Anyway, the sermon was on suffering and I suppose that this prayer is currently relevant for a number of people that I know. So feel free to pray with me.

Our great God

There is no sorrow too light to bring to you in prayer

There is no anxious care which is too minor for you to hearus

Lord, from the depths we cry to you

And ask that you might bring comfort to those who aresuffering among us, and also to those suffering throughout the world.

Lord, we thank you, that you are our hope in times ofdespair

That when there is nothing left, you are there, constant andunchanging. Gracious, good, merciful and full of compassion.

Lord, we thank you that we can have certainty of yourgoodness because of the cross of Jesus Christ.

That by his suffering, death and resurrection we have a fullhope of joy and assurance in your good promises.

We pray that you help us to keep our eyes fixed on thatglorious day when Christ will return and there will be no more mourning, cryingor pain. When our hatred, anger, sorrow and brokenness will be turned into perfectloving relationship with you and with each other.

Time

2011-11-16T00:10:00.001+11:00

I've been working on this poem, but seeing as it has been exam time I haven't been able to give it any attention. As I returned to it tonight I don't think that there's anything that I want to change, add or re-word. So it is still just how it came out :)

Time heals all wounds

But the scars remain

For a day to remember

When the days stay the same

Time speaks in whispers

Of battles lost and won

When there’s nothing left

Of battles fought just for fun

Time knows all secrets

Words that never start

The marred imperfections

That mark the corners my heart

They speak of days and times

They speak of hope and regret

And they remind tomorrow

Of the things we can’t forget

Jewel

2011-11-12T15:43:00.001+11:00

In my hunt for music to study to I've rediscovered some old Jewel. Wonder what's happened to her these days? Anyway, I sought to find a clip of this song on youtube but there wasn't a good one, so here are the lyrics. It's a bit mushy but I like it.

Kiss the Flame

Please love let's make no impartial vow
Let all fall away
That's not crucial now
I want to brave love, one that makes me weak in the knees
I want a crazy, crazy love
One that makes me come undone at the seams
'Cause I'm tired of all these pilgrims, these puritans, these thieves
Of all these unbelievers
who whittle love down at the knees
Let these swift roads destroy themselves
Let the world fall into its sleep
For we shall be spared
We shall be left standing
To face what's left of concrete and honey
Kiss the flame
Let's run with the hunted, the untamed
Kiss the flame
Embrace the faceless, the unnamed
Kiss the flame
There are nightmares on the sidewalks
There are jokes on TV
There are people selling thoughtlessness
with such casualty
But wherefore art thou Romeo
where have all the brave men gone
Show me one man who know his own heart
To him I shall belong
Kiss the flame
Let's run with the hunted, the untamed
Kiss the flame
Embrace the faceless, the unnamed
Kiss the flame
Kiss the flame
Kiss the flame
Please love let's make no impartial vow

(By Jewel)

Chapel

2011-11-04T16:02:00.000+11:00

"Thou movest us to delight in praising Thee;
for Thou hast formed us for Thyself,
and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee."
- Augustine

Last Friday was the last Chapel service for the year and so far I have kept myself from crying during Chapel so as not to cry in front of 300 people. Each service we have an Old Testament and a New Testament Bible reading and we have three Chapel's a week. Friday's readings were on Hosea 7 and Mark 15, which were read very well by Tara. During the Mark reading I started crying which isn't a surprise, I think that a number of people in the congregation were teary (as it was read quite powerfully). Sometimes I think that the simplicity of hearing God's powerful word read is often overlooked.

Anyway, I had a bit of a moment as I was struck by the lengths to which my Lord and God went in order to save us from our sins. I suppose I was impacted so because it has been a while since I allowed myself to deeply feel the cost of my sin, which was the death of my Lord. Sometimes I feel it's easier to just keep occupying my life with stuff that makes me busy rather than to dwell on such things, but that's because of my own unfaithfulness. It is good that in our weak and unfaithful states He remains faithful, always.

And as soon as it was morning, the chief priests held a consultation with the elders and scribes and the whole council. And they bound Jesus and led him away and delivered him over to Pilate. And Pilate asked him, “Are you the King of the Jews?” And he answered him, “You have said so.” And the chief priests accused him of many things. And Pilate again asked him, “Have you no answer to make? See how many charges they bring against you.” But Jesus made no further answer, so that Pilate was amazed.

Now at the feast he used to release for them one prisoner for whom they asked. And among the rebels in prison, who had committed murder in the insurrection, there was a man called Barabbas. And the crowd came up and began to ask Pilate to do as he usually did for them. And he answered them, saying, “Do you want me to release for you the King of the Jews?” For he perceived that it was out of envy that the chief priests had delivered him up. But the chief priests stirred up the crowd to have him release for them Barabbas instead. And Pilate again said to them, “Then what shall I do with the man you call the King of the Jews?” And they cried out again, “Crucify him.” And Pilate said to them, “Why, what evil has he done?” But they shouted all the more, “Crucify him.” So Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd, released for them Barabbas, and having scourged Jesus, he delivered him to be crucified.

And the soldiers led him away inside the palace (that is, the governor's headquarters), and they called together the whole battalion. And they clothed him in a purple cloak, and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on him. And they began to salute him, “Hail, King of the Jews!” And they were striking his head with a reed and spitting on him and kneeling down in homage to him. And when they had mocked him, they stripped him of the purple cloak and put his own clothes on him. And they led him out to crucify him.

And they compelled a passerby, Simon of Cyrene, who was coming in from the country, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to carry his cross. And they brought him to the place called Golgotha (which means Place of a Skull). And they offered him wine mixed with myrrh, but he did not take it. And they crucified him and divided his garments among them, casting lots for them, to decide what each should take. And it was the third hour when they crucified him. And the inscription of the charge against him read, “The King of the Jews.” And with him they crucified two robbers, one on his right and one on his left. And those who passed by derided him, wagging their heads and saying, “Aha! You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself, and come down from the cross!” So also the chief priests with the scribes mocked him to one another, saying, “He saved others; he cannot save himself. Let the Christ, the King of Israel, come down now from the cross that we may see and believe.” Those who were crucified with him also reviled him.

And when the sixth hour had come, there was darkness over the whole land until the ninth hour. And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?” which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” And some of the bystanders hearing it said, “Behold, he is calling Elijah.” And someone ran and filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on a reed and gave it to him to drink, saying, “Wait, let us see whether Elijah will come to take him down.” And Jesus uttered a loud cry and breathed his last. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom. And when the centurion, who stood facing him, saw that in this way he breathed his last, he said, “Truly this man was the Son of God!”

There were also women looking on from a distance, among whom were Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James the younger and of Joses, and Salome. When he was in Galilee, they followed him and ministered to him, and there were also many other women who came up with him to Jerusalem.

And when evening had come, since it was the day of Preparation, that is, the day before the Sabbath, Joseph of Arimathea, a respected member of the council, who was also himself looking for the kingdom of God, took courage and went to Pilate and asked for the body of Jesus. Pilate was surprised to hear that he should have already died. And summoning the centurion, he asked him whether he was already dead. And when he learned from the centurion that he was dead, he granted the corpse to Joseph. And Joseph bought a linen shroud, and taking him down, wrapped him in the linen shroud and laid him in a tomb that had been cut out of the rock. And he rolled a stone against the entrance of the tomb. Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses saw where he was laid.
(Mark 15 ESV)

And can it be that I should gain
An interest in the Savior’s blood?
Died He for me, who caused His pain—
For me, who Him to death pursued?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?
Amazing love! How can it be,
That Thou, my God, shouldst die for me?

admiring the snail

2011-11-01T22:42:00.000+11:00

notebook

2011-10-30T00:59:00.000+11:00

This is my new notebook. I decided it would be nice and artsy if I actually wrote my musings in a book all fancy-like. I went to Pentimento. I really liked this other notebook though... it was beautiful, but it was $74 :-S But oh, how beautiful... it had a blue leather cover and a string that you wrap around and blank pages... it was lovely... anyway, you would be proud of me because I opted for not paying $74 for a notebook... hmm...

poetry of the flesh continued..

2011-10-27T12:01:00.000+11:00

What I love about poetry & prose is that it takes you into a place that has escaped the world. The reader takes what is theirs, whatever speaks the words that they are feeling and it becomes their own. It's been a productive night.

Wooden rings etched into my soul.
They mark the coming and the going of the tide.
The floods and the crimson waves that disappear into the sand.
______________________________________

My eyes are so heavy,
Only a pin could lift them up.
______________________________________

I want to stop bleeding.
The blood is everywhere.
Will my Lord return?
_______________________________________

I don't want to move,
and I don't want to stay here.
_______________________________________

I don't know where I can go where there are no people.
So I stay here in the safe confines of my room.
This prison holds me.
_______________________________________

It's the pain in the back of my head,
that says, "leave me here."
All cozy in my pillow.
_______________________________________

I like to read because it sets me on the course to another world.
________________________________________

I return to Rand, Perrin and Matt,
and chase the adventure without having to step one foot out of bed.
________________________________________

I close my eyes.
It's the only way to avoid losing myself in yours.
________________________________________

The Lord lifts me up,
He gives me strength in the darkness.
_______________________________________

poetry of the flesh

2011-10-27T01:50:00.000+11:00

I've been inspired by Charles Bukowski... I found some of his quotations whilst procrastinating on the net and search him up. His poetry is very torn and not for those under 18 and there is an extreme rawness to it. He was searching but never found what he was looking for, only that which this world has to offer, which is sad, but also what makes his stuff so attractive I suppose. It is very human. I've been coming up with these excellent little one liners, I'm tentative to share them but I'm quite fond of them if I do say so myself. I hope I think of some more...

I wish I could take it all back, scrunch it up like a piece of discarded newspaper.
_________________________________________

Was I not enough?
You are my deepest of sorrows.
_________________________________________

dust jacket

2011-10-17T22:58:00.002+11:00

I always wondered what you call the thing that is the cover for the cover of a book... Parts of A Book. I usually remove it because I like it when the book looks neat and plain.

the right question...

2011-10-17T17:26:00.001+11:00

Sometimes it's hard to have a conversation with someone. I mean, most of us are capable of having an ordinary "how's the weather" type conversation, but once you've gone through the common, "How are you doing? How was your weekend? What do you have planned for the week?" That's about it... we've run into the dead zone.

The thing is that we all have a lot of information bundled up inside of us, it's just a matter of whether someone asks us the right question. In ministry training we went through something like this, we called them "gushers" = finding the thing that people are passionate about and will just keep talking about for ages. For example sport or gardening, or something like that.

Anyway, "the right question" is something different in that it doesn't just open up a person to talking about what they are passionate about, but to talking about themselves in a way that reveals who they are beneath the superficial surface. It is a question that punctures through the walls that we all have in place and all of a sudden you get this insight into someone's past or thoughts or deep quandaries about life.

The difficult thing (like with gushers) is finding the right question.

Where's Miranda

2011-10-04T04:17:00.001+11:00

We should totally play this game next time we go to Westfield. Loving watching Miranda...

got short-scooped again

2011-10-04T03:26:00.001+11:00

Being a local Newtownian I'm a big fan of Ice n Slice, however the last few times I've been there I'm sad to report that I've been short-scooped. It's a sad thing indeed... Ice cream is one of those things to rejoice over and definitely something well anticipated, but when you get short-scooped it's a real let down. It's definitely worth the extra walk to Gelato Blue or Gelatomassi or better yet (even though it's a bit far and technically not Newtown) I'm loving this place Cow and the Moon.

No lemongrass for you!
It all started after trying out the new Vietnamese Restaurant Rice Paper... We have been eagerly awaiting the opening and finally got a chance to eat here. I ordered the lemongrass pork chop with broken rice. Most mains on the menu are about $20 although there are a number of things at about $15. Things looked promising with tasty Autumn rolls. But they got my order wrong with the main. It was clear to me that there was no lemongrass here, I asked one of the waitresses but she didn't know what it was supposed to look like and told me she was new (?), another waitress had her go and proceeded to be quite firm with me that it was lemongrass. I couldn't be bothered arguing but was disappointed that I didn't get what I ordered. A big fan of the Avocado Drink I also ordered their Avocado Smoothie which was quite nice and I enjoyed it. The others ordered Papaya Salad, Beef Vermicelli, Thai Beef Salad, and curry. I think everyone was pretty happy although the guys who ordered the Beef Vermicelli said that it was tasty but there wasn't enough of everything in it. Also they forgot one of our orders, so we had all finished eating but my friend still hadn't gotten his meal *sad face*. The online reviews seem to be good, but I'm not sure if I can be bothered to give it another try. There is too much on offer in Newtown... I think we're keen to try the new Malaysian place...

While I'm reviewing there's also a new cafe we've been frequenting called Glinelli. The coffee is good, it's close to college and the staff are really friendly and they have Belgium Hot Chocolate and specialty chocolates and nice looking food (although I haven't gotten around to eating there yet). It's more that I like the staff, they are the win factor, and also that it's SO close and I'm a lazy college student who doesn't want to walk more then a block.

Bonsai~

2011-10-03T22:17:00.000+11:00

So I was at Paddington Markets on the weekend and saw some bonsai which I liked. As you may be aware Mr Bonsai died a few years back and I still haven't replaced him. Anyway, I gathered a few names and have been researching them on the internet. I have decided between either a Chinese Elm or a Flowering Quince. I like them both.

Here is a musing,

I can be full or I can be empty
I can be few or I can be many
I'm sometimes lost
And I'm not what I mean
Or sometimes I'm something that's in between
I have no meaning at all
Or can capture the world
I tell of love and dreams
Or sorrows and moonbeams
I am not what I seem for most of the time
A gentle rebuke
Or a meaningless rhyme
How mistaken I am
Or true to an art
Unknown and unspoken
Or sharp as a dart

What are your greatest fears?

2011-09-28T20:15:00.004+10:00

I think I was reading a book... (fiction - the book, not that I was reading a book) and this question came up which I thought was interesting and I've been thinking about it,

What are your greatest fears - Past, Present, and to come?

I'm not actually going to post them in the blog-o-sphere and I still can't really think of them but I think it's an interesting question and I've been thinking about it... You know, if someone could look into your heart and pull something out what would it be?

toothbrush critters

2011-09-28T19:24:00.001+10:00

I bought these in Byron... they make me excited when it comes to teeth brushing time :D

Unspoken bond

2011-09-28T19:07:00.000+10:00

...a friend of mine posted this on my wall... brilliant~

(Link)

exposed...

2011-09-27T17:16:00.000+10:00

I've been thinking about this lately... Living in a college full of Christians is a delight, however, no matter how lovely, we are all still sinners. I suppose this seems obvious, but sometimes it catches me off guard.

Maybe everyone thinks that you are the loveliest thing since sliced bread... and believe me some of the girls I live with are. But what happens when your sinfulness is exposed? When someone sees what lies beneath the smiles... unravels the true you, the part that you don't want anyone to know about...

Constantly living with people in a college setting means that you have no where to hide. To add to that there's no where to run, you have to face the same people every day - sharing life every breakfast, every lunch, every dinner, every class, every day. Being all smiles and cheerios can only last for a time and then the cracks begin to show because you are human. Broken.

It's good that we can't hide from one another, that way we need to face the issue. Face the sin. Face the pride. Face the hurt. And if people can love you even after they've seen who you really are - a weak, sinful, broken creature. Well, that's love isn't it. That's Christ's love. It is a beautiful thing. We are all in the same boat, imperfect with a perfect Saviour.

Praise the Lord

We had a really good sermon today in chapel which helped me as I was thinking about this stuff. He reminded us that we shouldn't turn inward on ourselves (that is, rely on ourselves to fix a difficult situation) but trust and turn to God in all things. Even through our enemies God is able to work for our good. We must master our sin.

The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it. Gen 4:6-7

would you go for coffee?

2011-09-24T21:58:00.001+10:00

In the Christian world going for coffee is what guys do to pseudo ask a girl out. It's like saying, "I'm interested in you but I don't really want to commit to asking you out on a date because I'm not sure if I actually want to date you." Whatever that means.

Anyway, I've been surprised by my findings... When asking my female friends whether they would go for coffee with a guy pretty much all of them said, yes they would accept to go for coffee, even if they weren't interested.

So I asked, "why would you go for 'coffee' with someone if you knew that you weren't interested in them?" and the response was that they were willing to give the guy a chance, maybe there could be something there.

what makes something funny?

2011-09-23T15:09:00.001+10:00

What makes something funny? This was a question that some of us had the other week.

Humour is actually a strange concept and anything could be considered funny. Being one who laughs a lot, I've been trying to think about what makes me laugh... Here is my list so far,

- people pulling funny faces
- the misfortune of others (this one has been playing on my mind, but when I think about it, a lot of humour is at the misfortune of others or even myself. For example, if I tripped over = funny, if you tripped over = funny)... I wonder why we find it funny when people hurt themselves... I suppose you could call this slapstick. But why is it funny?
- when I'm a bit happy, or a bit nervous I will tend to laugh to fill in pregnant pauses.
- witticisms are funny
- babies are funny
- sometimes animals are funny

Actually, pretty much anything could make me laugh... maybe I'm not really a good subject for this matter...

loving 1 Peter

2011-09-21T12:49:00.004+10:00

Here's something that I needed to hear. I've been studying 1 Peter recently for an essay due on Monday and we're currently going through it in class.

Our inheritance, our salvation is “being protected” or “being guarded”, 1 Peter 1:5. This is language that is used in military contexts of guarding a post or camp. This is the language that is used here of God. God protects our inheritance, God protects our salvation.

A couple of musings

2011-09-20T13:43:00.005+10:00

I wrote this the other week, I was feeling quite down at the time, not for any reason in particular, I've realised that every now and again I just have emo phases and have to wait for them to pass, so it's strange because I am in quite a different mood today. Anyway, out of the pits of sorrow come the most beautiful of poems... to put you in the mood, think 'disparagement'.

Let us worry about today,
for tomorrow will bring its own worries.
Does not the Lord hold all within his hands?
Is there a thing that I could do to counteract his will?
What folly engulfs us all, to think that we can stand tall.
We are but dust and specks,
tossed about by the wind.
A cool wind of the Lord's choosing,
And where we'll end we do not know.

Here's another, it still needs some work but I don't have the time at the moment. The water is meant to be the Lord and His Spirit as he breaks you down to nothing by the power of his word and rebuilds you as a new creation (hopefully).

Concrete walls weakened by water,
Barely noticed until it exposes deep things within,
Things that sing sweet songs from the bellows of my heart.
The water has broken down my walls,
seeping through the cracks into my soul,
It amounts my will to a pile of rubble.
There is no rebuilding,
He shall build me up he says,
but when will that happen?
Will he take me so far that I cannot return?

a brief note

2011-09-15T16:12:00.004+10:00

I haven't posted in a while... a lot has been happening. Right now I am currently in sunny Bryon Bay. It's my first visit here. I'm feeling quite relaxed after spending all morning at the beach soaking up the sun and the water, even though I've been trying to get some hebrew done for the last hour over cheese and crackers.

I've been thinking about many things lately but vagueness seems to be what surrounds me at the moment. I don't know what this means, if anything.

Spent last week holidaying it up on the south coast, that was pretty good. But I don't think that anything can beat the warm weather and the sun and the beach and awesome company. I've been thinking I could move to Brissie after college hey? ;) ;)... besides the snake in our driveway it's pretty sweeet... well, if I pass my subjects that is.

"All flesh is like grass
and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers,
and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.”

back on track

2011-08-06T21:59:00.005+10:00

Right-o, so we flew back in last Sunday! I've been busily trying to catch up with things and loving this semester's subjects. Getting super excited about 1st Year Retreat which is next weekend. Currently I'm reading up on this dude called Irenaeus and his doctrine of humanity. I wish I had more time to read more about him. This is what I love about Bible college.

Anyway, I finally got to see Ben tonight. Babies like pooing on me. I like handing them to someone else to change.

Also, here's the link for our India trip if you missed it.

I passed!

2011-07-13T22:38:00.001+10:00

I've passed my first semester of Bible college! WIN!

spirituality

2011-07-12T16:59:00.006+10:00

So I've been reading up on Hinduism today. It seems fairly similar to what I used to believe as a Buddhist. I was just wondering why does it all seem to make some kind of sense although it cannot be confirmed in anyway? I mean, the thought of there being one source and everything returning to that one source like a drop of water in the ocean, the bonds of reincarnation, karma, seeking to escape the restraints of this world and being able to be our true self (you know, that person that you feel that you could be if not for your present circumstances and imperfections in character). It all sounds very good. Is there something within us that makes us feel like this is a plausible explanation to the workings of the universe, to the workings of our identity, to our present experience of things?

Well, yes. In that we were created for a purpose and we are not living out that purpose because we are enslaved to sin. That try as we might we can never free ourselves from the shackles of this world that are keeping us from being who we were made to be. I mean we could try but could we ever be certain?

Here is where I have been surprised by the message of the Bible and the good news of Jesus. In the past I have looked into various types of 'spirituality' and no where have I found such a consistent explanation of why things are the way they are, why I am the way I am, and not only an explanation, but a solution. A solution that provides complete certainty. A solution that provides hope. And the reason is that God knows we are broken and he has done something to fix us and the world. He has sent his Son Jesus Christ.

On a related note, I just found this post Karma is seductive

Loyalty

2011-07-09T15:27:00.002+10:00

I've been thinking about this recently... In the first episode of Community, Britta is bla-bla-ing and she says that her deal is honesty. If I were to say mine I would say, loyalty.

I don't know where this stems from. I have a funny feeling it might be from my father, but he is noted to be a failure at loyalty. Does that mean that it means even more to me?

Anyway, it's difficult to find this attribute in many people, but it means a heck of a lot.

Dear Photograph

2011-07-07T14:05:00.004+10:00

This is a lovely site Dear Photograph.

I wonder what it is that we are trying to hold on to? What is it that stirs within us when we find these old pictures. Do we feel the time lost? Or the warmth of something no longer there? Is it better because it is now a vague memory and we can only remember the good, we forget all the boring bits...

Sometimes I try to just sit and breathe in the day and the things around me, thinking to myself, maybe one day this will be a magnificent memory that I will long to come back for. Whereas right now I feel that it's quite mundane. Memories are like that.

Maybe we just always want something more then what is right here right now, the good that God has given to us. We are always longing.

Visual Unit

2011-07-06T11:38:00.002+10:00

Mark Barry is super awesome. Creative Bible resources for visual learners.

Visual Unit

haiku

2011-07-06T11:35:00.001+10:00

My love does not change
More foolish than the winter
That changes its mind

a something feeling

2011-07-04T20:15:00.003+10:00

Okay, so I have pinpointed (in a way) what I was trying to express yesterday.

They said to each other, “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” Luke 24:32

Isaiah 25:6-9

2011-07-04T08:58:00.003+10:00

I've been reading through Isaiah

On this mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples
a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,
of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.

And he will swallow up on this mountain
the covering that is cast over all peoples,
the veil that is spread over all nations.

He will swallow up death forever;
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,
and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,
for the Lord has spoken.

It will be said on that day,
“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us.
This is the Lord; we have waited for him;
let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.”

giving talks

2011-07-03T21:27:00.005+10:00

I did my second kid's talk today. I must say that I'm uncertain which is easier, to write a kid's talk or to write a grown up one... Even though I haven't given many, I like giving talks. I do get a bit stressed from the pressure though (I don't know how the guys preach every week).

Anyway today's was on Galatians 6. For about 3 days I was puzzling over which point to draw out. I wasn't originally rostered on to do this week, so it was really good to do because it meant that I spent some time in Galatians. When you're up the front it's really hard to gauge what people are thinking. It wasn't a big deal, it was only very short. However, I didn't think that it went very well. Like okay, if you know what I mean. I got some good feedback so that's encouraging I guess. It's hard to know.

Usually when I give talks and sometimes when I read the Bible with people I often feel God taking over (I can't really explain it), but this morning I felt a bit off and my brain wasn't working so I couldn't manage to memorise it all. I don't know why that is... I've been pretty braindead after exams.

Good news though, I passed Greek and Hebrew. I think I would have gone okay in New Testament, but I'm worried about Biblical Theology, I just ran out of time and was freaking out because it was 100%. But that's enough exam talk. It will be what it will be.

In other news, I just received a very encouraging email from a supporter. It was a bit of a surprise. It makes me feel very blessed. God has placed so many good people in my life.

marriage is serious

2011-07-02T16:47:00.001+10:00

So I was at a wedding this morning and Carl spoke on love and commitment. It wasn't so much on the love side of it, but the focus was on 'commitment'. To commit your whole self to somebody like Jesus is committed to and provides for his people... and I was sitting there thinking, gee... this is big stuff! I mean huge! I don't think I could say such words to anybody. All I can think of who fills that spot would be Jesus. Is there another that I could commit my whole life, self, body to? hmm... Maybe it's a good thing seeing as I'm single. I wonder whether I will ever be able to say such things to someone. You'd have to know them pretty well... or maybe it's just something you figure out and God convicts your heart of it when you know he or she is the one. Anyway, that's today's pondering. How about I make up a haiku:

Wake up to the sun
Brightest of light hits my eyes
Gives sight to the world

Blog Resurrected

2011-07-01T16:47:00.002+10:00

Okay, So I've resurrected my Blog. I realised I had no where to write my thoughts. I thought about creating notes on FB, but then I thought... nah, might as well just start blogging again (no guarantees that this will last past the holidays or in any way be a regular thing).

I have borrowed three books from the library for my holiday reading adventures: The Complete poetry and selected prose of John Donne, Poetry and Prose Thomas Traherne, and Gerard Manley Hopkins. They look like they haven't been opened in a while.

I've also been learning how to Haiku. I didn't really understand it at first, but after coming up with a few I can see how addictive it is.

Not yet forgotten

2011-04-06T19:48:00.000+10:00

Recall a vivid memory
Long forgotten
From the past
Yet it has never happened
It’s still yet to be cast

Can’t quite put my finger on,
It hums a wondrous song…

A tune that’s long forgotten
Indeed, was never written
A song yet to be spoken
But you know it all the same
You’ve heard it somewhere long before
It doesn’t have a name

A kind of ether binds the air
Fills you up
And takes your cares
It’s something long forgotten
Indeed, was never written

It leaves you stark,
And known and bare
Long forgotten from the past
Indeed, it’s never happened
It’s still yet to be cast.

Moore Mission at Yagoona

2011-04-02T19:12:00.000+11:00

We've been on mission at Yagoona & Condell Park Anglican Church. I have to say going into mission raises my anxiety levels. It all started back in my first year of MTS when I was severely burnt out and had to leave on the very first day of NTE mission. I was exhausted, depressed and pretty much spent the next 5 days in bed. As second year came around and NTE mission again, even though I had recovered a lot I felt really anxious going into it, not sure if I was going to make it through the entire week or just reach "freak point". It is a continuing cycle of stress/anxiety... You get anxious because you don't know if you're gonna suffer from getting anxious and then you get more anxious... It is rather ridiculous. Praise God I made it through and it has added to my confidence (I know weird hey).

Anyway, even though I'm pretty much myself again, I still felt slightly worried going into Moore Mission. A hot tip which I often tell my students is, "just make it until Wednesday". Wednesday seems doable, and once you hit Wednesday before you know it the week is over and you can't believe it's over so quickly.

This week has been fantastic!! I'm so thankful to God for the things he has been doing. The first door you knock on is always the hardest, but after that it is okay. I often feel very weak and inadequate at evangelism (although people keep commenting about me being a natural evangelist?). I don't know whether this feeling is cowardice or whether it is simply because I am indeed weak and inadequate. Even so, at this end of the week I feel like I would like to spend all my time knocking on doors sharing the good news of Jesus and meeting with his people. Ask me when you see me to tell you more about this week.

Yagoona parish has been an incredible encouragement and full of hospitality. I've really enjoyed getting to know the oldies and the other congregation members, as well as sharing in the happenings of their church. I also enjoy the west, it has a different sense of time and movement to it. As though people are just more down to earth.

Anyway, Yagoona is apparently aboriginal for "Today". So it is fitting to read Hebrews 3.

Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says,

“Today, if you hear his voice,
do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion,
on the day of testing in the wilderness,
where your fathers put me to the test
and saw my works for forty years.
Therefore I was provoked with that generation,
and said, ‘They always go astray in their heart;
they have not known my ways.’
As I swore in my wrath,
‘They shall not enter my rest.’”

Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God. But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.
(Hebrews 3:7-14 ESV)

Psalm 16

2011-03-15T19:13:00.000+11:00

A MIKTAM OF DAVID.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge.
I say to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
I have no good apart from you.”

As for the saints in the land, they are the excellent ones,
in whom is all my delight.

The sorrows of those who run after another god shall multiply;
their drink offerings of blood I will not pour out
or take their names on my lips.

The LORD is my chosen portion and my cup;
you hold my lot.
The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the LORD who gives me counsel;
in the night also my heart instructs me.
I have set the LORD always before me;
because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices;
my flesh also dwells secure.
For you will not abandon my soul to Sheol,
or let your holy one see corruption.

You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

1-1 and pot plants

2011-02-27T20:01:00.000+11:00

Today I met up with two women from church to read the Bible and it hit me just how much I love it. I think I've been so distracted that I haven't realised that I haven't read the Bible with anyone since December last year... and that's a really long time. I could spend the rest of my life doing this.

In other news I bought a new pot plant yesterday...

It's fantastic.

first week of college poem

2011-02-22T16:04:00.000+11:00

First week of college has transpired
New student cards have been acquired
Off the bat, we’re running swiftly
Keen and eager, shirts tucked neatly
The sheen of first year we have donned
Unknowingly we plod along
Some like to sing peculiar songs
Like Nana Mouskouri…
Hmm… nothing rhymes with Nana Mouskouri…
Except perhaps some rose potpourri (Hmm...)

It is something that’s quite unique,
I say this ‘cause we’re learning Greek.
New Testament, our class tomorrow,
There will be books I need to borrow.

On Mondays we’ll be watching GLEE
Goes great with friends and cups of tea
Bacon day in two days time,
Enough to drive a girl to rhyme.

Okay, Okay, what’s all this fuss?
We’re all aboard the Gospel Bus!
Our Lord is awesome, this is true
That’s why we’d bother to learn Hebrew.
By grace, we’ll know Him more and more,
During our brief time we share at Moore.

I'm Sensitive by Jewel

2011-02-22T01:37:00.000+11:00

untitled

2011-02-17T21:03:00.000+11:00

A room that's dimly lit
With shadows all around
They dance across the ceiling
They dance across the ground
A tip tip toe and scuttle
A dash and dive and dip
Trying to avoid
Trying not to trip

Robert Herrick

2011-02-16T16:29:00.000+11:00

Now I stumbled across this little book of poems by a 17th Century English poet much by chance in a secondhand bookstore in Newtown the other day, at the time I didn't have any money to purchase it. btw, I'm saying this all with an english twang. Poetry seems to sound better like that. Here is a couple of the poems:

The Frozen Heart by Robert Herrick

I freeze, I freeze, and nothing dwels
In me but Snow, and ysicles.
For pitties sake give your advice,
To melt this snow, and thaw this ice;
I'le drink down Flames, but if so be
Nothing but love can supple me;
I'le rather keepe this frost, and snow,
Then to be thaw'd, or heated so.

Upon Love by Robert Herrick

Love scorch'd my finger, but did spare
The burning of my heart:
To signifie, in Love my share
Sho'd be a little part.

Little I love; but if that he
Wo'd but that heat recall:
That joynt to ashes sho'd be burnt,
Ere I wo'd love at all.

Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver Ink Pen

2011-01-24T18:01:00.000+11:00

This is AWESOME!!!

http://www.computergear.com/doctor-who-sonic-screwdriver-ink-pen-set.html

Why can't the world...

2011-01-22T23:11:00.000+11:00

Men Are Strong

2011-01-07T09:36:00.000+11:00

This suddenly hit me as I witnessed them lifting and moving all my furniture. They can just lift heavy stuff. If I was a man I'd just be lifting stuff all the time because I could. It's amazing. It reminds me of this scene of "Dating the Enemy" when they switch bodies and she starts lifting chairs. teehee..

Picnic Day #3

2010-12-30T13:06:00.000+11:00

It's always a lovely day for a Pickanic. Yesterday we had a pickanic dinner at Coogee with leftover Christmas ham, roast chicken, roast pumpkin, cherry tomatoes, baby cos, and bread rolls. JG has some pics, I don't know if she's gonna blog about it.

There were some guys who started kicking a soccer ball just nearby us, which led us to come up with Small Game Theory. You see, they started out tame, just little kicks here and there, but it never just stays that way. As predicted, before long the kicking escalated as they got more and more excited, exerted themselves more leading those who are nearby to get hit in the head with a ball.

Of course this led on to a discussion about another well-known phenomenon - that if boys like you then they attempt to get your attention by hitting you in the face with a ball, same goes with rev'ing their car, and kicking you in the back of your knee, etc, etc. One would presume that this sort of nonsense ceases after school age, but oh no... do not be fooled.

So how is one to get a ladies attention? Well, if she has been hit by your ball, apologise and blame your friend. haha. There you go, first conversation started and you've knocked your friend out of the game. A simple, "Hullo, I'm bla bla bla" never goes astray either. Now we are indeed in a new game. Don't be caught off guard she will always reject you the first time around, possibly even the second, especially if she is amongst friends. If you're worth your salt you won't give into defeat.

Later, we had ice cream at Gelatissimo... I decided to be spontaneous and decisive and got "Wild Cherry" flavour... it turned out to be a poor choice. I should have taste-tested it first.

December Newsletter

2010-12-16T10:07:00.000+11:00

Links for giving:
Extra Info
AFES
Campus Bible Study

gypsies, a one-man band & dumpling belly

2010-12-15T22:56:00.000+11:00

New discovery thanks to Soupy, Chinese Noodle Restaurant (of course it has been reviewed by Not Quite Nigella). In 3 words, cheap dirty dumplings... oh my!! we had big dumpling bellies! We ordered 4 half-dishes, Chinese pancake, and variety of dumplings... I think lamb & chive fried dumplings, meat buns, and steamed pork dumplings. They average on about $4.50 a dish which has about 6 dumplings in it. We were gluttons and couldn't finish, total cost $18. We digested by strolling around Darling Harbour... I really like it there at night (when there's not tonnes of people), hmm... such memories...

Earlier we were at Art After Hours at the NSW Gallery and enjoyed a gypsy jazz band called, Monsieur Camembert and the one-man no instrument band that is Mr Percival.

Such a delightful barmy night, Sue really makes a good date.

The Corner

2010-12-14T22:55:00.000+11:00

Things at The Corner are going well. So far we've read through Ezra, Nehemiah, 2/3 of Proverbs, and up to chapter 10 of 1 Chronicles today. It's been great to just get into reading Holy Scripture.

*Summer Bible Reading Corner

Unexplained Phenomena: Expandable Luggage

2010-12-14T22:47:00.000+11:00

Have you ever packed for a camp or holiday, but upon your return as you try to re-pack your bag it seems as though your luggage has expanded!!! You haven't added anything new, but it's just harder to zip up your suitcase because all your things no longer seem to fit inside!

Picnic Day #2

2010-12-14T09:21:00.000+11:00

Finally, our second Picnic day. Yesterday we popped down to coles to grab some food then headed to Centenially Park. We also found some lovely rose gardens in our adventures but I forgot to take my phone, so you'll have to wait until Picnic day 3.

Earlier that day Elsie and I went to the Pool Cafe at Maroubra Beach. I've been here once before and I like it. Prices are a bit expensive, and I haven't tried the coffee yet, but had a mango smoothie this time ($5.50), it was really yummy. We also decided to get some Yam Fries ($9)!! This was only because we were so intrigued... they were quite oily. Later, we soaked up the sun by the pool... it was a lovely day.

Reindeer Car!

Meatball Recipe #3

2010-12-14T09:12:00.000+11:00

Meatball Recipe #3: Taste.com - Spicy Meatballs

Verdict = quite tasty. Maybe I would make them more garlicky

NTE

2010-12-12T23:42:00.000+11:00

Okay, so I am deliriously tired but I'm feeling to urge to blog, dude. My brain is just going crazy with so many things that the Lord has shown me over the last week and a half at NTE & Mission I need to purge & process.

Last year my body just gave up the first morning of NTE Mission and I headed home and was in bed catatonic for 5 days straight. Only rising to go to the bathroom (couldn't even move for food).

I have to admit I was suffering from some anxiety heading into this year's NTE, not knowing if I would be able to make it through. I could feel it in my system. It's a bit like a circle, I was anxious about being anxious which made me more anxious, etc. NTE was so good though!

I think that what has continued to stick with me from the conference is something that Richard said in his final talk which of course made me cry. He said that we need to raise our horizons.The context was that we keep focusing on the stuff that is fading away and losing sight of the eternal. Ultimately this resides in our trust or lack of trust in our Heavenly Father. We are just too caught up in all the stuff of this world that we need to lift our head and raise our eye-level on to God's eye-level.

Sondre Lerche

2010-12-10T22:04:00.000+11:00

My God is a great provider

2010-12-01T16:55:00.000+11:00

As we pack up and sort through our house I've realised just how much God has provided for me. From couches to a bed to plates. It's pretty amazing stuff. Most of my possessions have come from either God's people (generous friends) or God's providence (found on the streets of Kingsford har har). Sometimes I get tempted to hoard it but I'm trying hard to let go of everything knowing that God will provide what I need later if I really need it. Truly, what do I need? Clothes and a bed.

I've also realised that I will have moved 5 times in 4 years - #1 our beloved Cracks on Kennedy, #2 back to mum's for 2 weeks, #3 Cockroach Gardens (apartment 1), #4 Cockroach gardens (apartment 2), #5 and soon to be Moore College.

I'm going to miss my street. I've grown quite fond of this place. Here's some strange plants I've found:

This looks like finger traps or dragon tails:

Ah beautiful yellow green leaves:

Someone's planned chaotic front garden:

Strange puffy plant, like pink pompoms or fairy skirts:

And lastly, I walk past these flowers everyday. I'm not sure what it's called but the smell always takes me back to childhood:

it's the little things...

2010-11-30T09:15:00.000+11:00

...that are so beautiful...

the grey bus

2010-11-27T19:02:00.000+11:00

memory...

2010-11-27T09:39:00.000+11:00

Is memory most of miseries miserable,
Or the one flower of ease in bitterest hell?

Dante Gabriel Rossetti

happy people are not interesting

2010-11-26T19:07:00.000+11:00

We ventured to the Annie Leibovitz exhibit today and it hit me, "happy people are not interesting."

What's interesting are those people who look like the world is written on their face and you gaze at them a wonder what journeys they have been through, what pains they have suffered and what things they have loved and lost. Now that's interesting. Eyes that look like they've been seeking but have not found and a face that wears the dress of time.

I wrote this up the other night, it seems fitting:

I will wait for the Lord,
My soul waits
as the trees wait for the water,
as the sun waits for the moon.
Thoughts come and go, and I wander
through the path that the Lord has etched out for me.
I have no strength even to sketch out my own, nor any desire.
For the Lord knows my way.
He knows the way of my feet,
He sets the direction and pace of my steps
He delivers my heart.
In Him are rivers of gladness.
In Him is fullness forever more.
Where else am I to go?
Is there need of any other?
He is my rock and my comfort, my stronghold.
He is the God of my salvation.

Hembra & Macho

2010-11-26T07:57:00.000+11:00

Random fact: Someone recently told me that there are male and female castanets and when playing you hold one of each. They have differing pitches. The higher pitched pair, is the hembra (female)and you hold it in your right hand, with the lower macho (male) pair held in the left.

Search for a whisper

2010-11-25T22:26:00.000+11:00

I've been looking for this poem which I have a super vague memory of from my early teens. I remember having cut it out and kept it but I dunno... maybe I've thrown it out some time. I'm pretty sure that it may have been Christian and may have been written by Christina Rossetti. Anyway, my search shall continue for years to come (I presume).

I found this in my quest:

O Wind, Where Have You Been by Christina Georgina Rossetti

O wind where have you been,
That you blow so sweet?
Among the violets
Which blossom at your feet.
The honeysuckle waits
For summer and for heat.
But violets in the chilly Spring
Make the turf so sweet.

Jess ♥ CLAW

2010-11-25T11:07:00.000+11:00

We had our Christians in Law End of Year Party on Monday night. I'm feeling quite sad that I won't get to hang with these clowns next year.

Law Lounge

End of Year Party

The kids made this for me at CLAW Getaway this year. I had no idea, but what a way to remember the very first CLAW Getaway. I shall hang it on my college wall :)

tamamarillo

2010-11-25T10:27:00.000+11:00

I bought one of these the other week because I was curious as to what it was. I forgot about it but found it last night in the veg compartment of our fridge. Not wanting to experience this new taste on my own I implored Laura to join me in my expedition.

What a tamarillo tastes like... well, I'd say there are hints of tomato, persimmon, passionfruit. As if those 3 fruits all got together and had a baby. It's hard to explain the taste exactly. It's quite tart.

Yay for discovering new foods. It's very exciting. Now to find a purple carrot and I shall be quite pleased :)

Meatball Recipe #2

2010-11-24T21:50:00.000+11:00

Meatball Recipe #2: Taste.com - Meatballs with Couscous

A lamb meatball served with yogurt and couscous (I forgot the capsicum).

Taste = good, pretty standard, quite a healthy meal.

Heiler & Prayer

2010-11-24T11:51:00.000+11:00

Upon my quest into thinking about Prayer, I've come across this: Heiler's Typology of Prayer.

Friedrich Heiler is recognized for compiling one of the most comprehensive Christian studies into the phenomenology of prayer. This typology proposes six types of prayer; primitive, ritual, Greek cultural, philosophical, mystical, and prophetic. In these the reader can see a sort of progression from man-centered to God-centered prayer. It has been noted in recent years that Heiler’s typology should include seven types, the first being secular spirituality.

I find this interesting because it has provided for me quite a good summary for understanding prayer in my life (past and present), and the progression of prayer in my life is very much parallel to my knowledge of God (becoming a Christian).

As a Buddhist Primitive Prayer played its part. As someone with no knowledge of God, but an acknowledgment of spiritual forces and a higher state of being. What strikes me is the line, "Primitive prayer is born out of need and fear". As I've grown in my understanding of Christianity I have had my eyes opened to the fear and superstition which still holds some of my family captive in darkness, although they are completely blind to it.

Some time during my schooling years and the "new ageness" of my spirituality I can place Ritual Prayer in my thinking. Ironically, this was how I first prayed to Jesus, although I knew him not.

This is going to sound weird but there was a time in my life where some "funky" stuff would happen to me and I told it to one of my friends who was a Christian. She instructed me to chant, "In the name of Jesus leave this place". I did so and by God's grace at the time I found relief although I was totally ignorant of what I was doing. Having no concept of Jesus at the time I didn't even feel the need to ask her who this Jesus was.

And today as a Christian who knows the great Creator and true God and is able to access Him by the blood of Jesus Christ, Prophetic Prayer takes its part in my life. I cannot imagine a day without talking to my God and knowing that He is divinely sovereign over all. Prayer is no longer an empty hope or wishful thinking. Additionally, it is no longer a magical spell, but access to a God that knows me and a God that I know.

We fail to realise this, but the way we can pray as Christians is something that is phenomenal. It took me quite some time to understand just what was going on as a Christian prays, what it means, how to do it. And even longer because once I undestood I felt so unworthy and sinful to even be able to approach our Holy God. A lot of the time we take our access to God for granted. Maybe it's something that we should stop to give thanks for right now and for those of us who know how to pray give thanks that the Holy Spirit has taught us how to pray.

Spurgeon - Effective Prayer

Poppers

2010-11-23T12:32:00.000+11:00

I'm really digging the popper... Some of you may have noticed that I've started carrying these around in my bag. It's my new thing. Excellent for that juice hit when you're out and about!

Narnia

2010-11-23T11:00:00.000+11:00

I've just finished reading The Chronicles of Narnia for the very first time (and I suspect not the last). I decided to read the books in written order, but of course forgot so read them a little out of order. I recommend leaving the Magician's Nephew until the end. I found this good because The Last Battle alludes to some stuff in The Magician's Nephew which is fun discovering and drawing the pieces together. It's such a beautiful book! I hope they make a movie out of it. :)

I've had a great adventure.

The Grumbling Tum & Op Shop Adventures

2010-11-19T16:25:00.000+11:00

We ventured to Rozelle today for some opshopptacular. We only managed to get halfway up the street. Definitely need to come back here again not just for the shops, but to try out the cafes. I'm loving the M50! Best bus route ever, it takes me straight here, to DFO and also to The Spot and to Coogee! Supercool!

After a morning of fun we had lunch here (they don't seem to have a website), anyway the food was cheap and good, plus we loved the name.

Beef Burger $5.50, Large Chippies $4.50

These are my finds (This is only my second time op shopping, what have I been doing all these years in my snobbery?):

Dress $10

Dress $10

Top $13

Denim skirt $10

I also bought this random thing for Kim & Flame from this very asian place called, What's That La, they also have very cute giant fluffy toys... the reason why I entered in the first place... squeee worthy... teehee... :)

What kind of scientist would you be?

2010-11-18T00:05:00.000+11:00

Mad Scientist

Though your chief goals are the somewhat contradictory aims to rule, and then destroy, the planet Earth, you have a strong grasp of the scientific principles of blowing up things (Explodology). Good luck and please have mercy.

Take the quiz on BuzzFeed.com

I could have guessed it :P

Loving this site: Fake Science

streetside amusement #2...

2010-11-17T15:15:00.000+11:00

Guy washing the car wash... hee hee ehehe...

streetside find

2010-11-16T15:32:00.000+11:00

I found this walking up the street today. I've been wanting to find a full-length mirror for college next year.. haha, God even provides full-length mirrors. Crazy. Thanks God! The knobs that attach the mirror to the stand are broken but I'm pretty sure I can find some metal ones to replace them.

Awesomeness :D

Reflections on my role as a woman in ministry

2010-11-16T10:44:00.000+11:00

I thought that I'd re-visit this topic seeing as I haven't really taken time to step back and think about it for a while and include observations and things that I've learnt this year working with a bunch of godly and patient men. I'm not really much of a reflector but I've been working on it.

After becoming a Christian to my surprise the man/woman issue wasn't really much of a problem for me. I'm unsure as to why this has been the case, but I presume that it is because my focus is on the grace of the gospel and that all that I have and all that I am is nothing if not for the mercy of our Lord.

Saying that, certain patterns of behaviour and of ways of interacting are hard to change because they are so ingrained in my nature. Having been quite the feminist, and having a personality that is independent, rebellious to authority and head strong has led me to a lot of repentance and agony this year as I've struggled to figure out what things are wise to stand up for and what things I'm just arguing for arguments sake (or for pride really).

I've had a bit of the theory, although so far in my Christian life I haven't really had the time examine the Bible as much as I would have liked to on the issue of Biblical Manhood & Biblical Womanhood, leadership & authority in the church, headship & submission.

So far, I lean toward the Equal and Complimentary (previously, Equal, but Different) side of the discourse, however admit that I am not completely won over by the current interpretation of certain "key" passages, especially of 1 Tim 2 within the context of the Bible. But I have not had the time to fully examine all that I wish so that I am neither firmly here nor there yet.

One of the passages that has had most influence on my thinking this year about Men & Women roles in the Church is the Book of Titus. I read and discussed it with one of my students earlier in the year as we looked at the topic together (especially focusing on Leadership & submission, but of course bled out to the question of, "Who has God made us to be as women?". Titus helps in our thinking about the Church as the household of God, and we were struck by the parallelism between the layout of the household of God and our understanding of the structure of a Christian household model.

As I've struggled with putting submission into practice I've learnt many things from working with Will (although he would probably say that he hasn't done much at all) and most of it comes down to love, pride and sinfulness as the issues surrounding submission rather then a Man/Woman dualism. Also bearing in mind our submission to one another as people in Christ rather then just because he is a man and I am a woman (although I failed at this most of the time).

"Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. "
(Ephesians 5:15-21 ESV)

And this is mostly the issue for me in working with Will and a very male dominated staff team (it just worked out that way this year, with me being the only female (non-FOCUS MTSer)).

The thing that narks at me is working out where the line is between my playing my part as a member of the team using the gifts that God has given me and my taking on a leadership position.

Looking closer at my role as an MTSer with my students, I've spent most of my time working with the girls, however on reflection I feel that I should have worked closer with the guys also. Simply because I'm a woman doesn't mean that I should not be working with the men, and I admit that I failed at this point and neglected this part of my responsibility in leading the faculty (especially in my 1st year where I was the only MTSer for the group). I just had a "women work with women, men work with men" mentality ingrained in me from the culture of our ministry and hadn't reflected on it.

I recognise that a way that we appear to attain a positive standing on the issue of men and women is simply to segregate, therefore minimising the issue. However, for those of us who will be working in church and ministry throughout our lives the issue is going to come up and we are going to have to form Biblical ways to work out how to manage and think about relationships, and the answer is not segregation. The men who are training in our ministry will have pastoral responsibility over the women in their future congregations and they will be held accountable to God for the whole flock and not just the men of that congregation.

It is a little different with me and the Law Faculty because Carl was in fact the leader of our faculty group last year. However, I do feel the weight of failing in my responsibilities as the one who had a primary role there.

Poem by C.T Studd: Only One Life, Twill Soon Be Past

2010-11-16T10:22:00.000+11:00

“Two little lines I heard one day,Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgement seat;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say,”Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “twas worth it all”;
Only one life,’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”

- C.T. Studd

Summer Bible Reading Corner

2010-11-15T17:40:00.000+11:00

I had an idea to get a small group together to read the Bible out loud (i.e. Story Time!). I'm encouraged that others are keen and we'll be having our first Reading on Tuesday night! Awesomeness!

Aim:
to read through chunks of the Bible together. The main objective
is to hear God's word read (a lost art), but we may from time to time feel like discussing.

Reason:
The lost art of storytime
hearing God's word read
Getting a big picture overview of the Bible.
something to do over the summer
Read through lots of the Bible

I am a baking machine

2010-11-15T16:53:00.000+11:00

Here are my baking endeavours over the last 3 days:

This recipe was originally a Fig & Raspberry Cake, but I've made it with Apple & Blueberry. I call it Pie-Cake

Choc Banana Loaf

A childhood favourite, Butterfly Cakes. I used those silicon patty pans so they didn't rise very nicely *sulky face*. However they tasted tasty (if I do say so myself :))

My first attempt at Madeleines. I don't have the special pan. They are okay, I think I over worked the batter

This was supposed to be a Rum & Raisen Cake but we didn't have any rum so I used Brandy. Unsure how it tastes yet. It's for Em. I'm still considering whether to ice it

Oh and I've also made Raspberry & White chocolate cupcakes for JJ, but forgot to take a photo... they were yummo.

(almost) FAT-FREE Chocolate Cake!

2010-11-12T09:16:00.000+11:00

I recently made this Fat-Free Chocolate Cake for Elsie's birthday. Now if you know me I don't do fat-free... I'm even unlikely to do low-fat ice cream, and after 1.5 years of being out voted in a house for light milk I finally succumbed to light milk (although if you're just having straight milk then it needs to be full fat all the way baby!)

Anyway, in this instance the cake was almost fat-free because our cocoa powder had gone bad so I used a cup of dark chocolate bits to substitute. Being a cake without any butter, dairy or egg yolks I had it in my mind that it would taste like cardboard.

Anyway, the results were quite pleasing. It was moist and tasty (considering it had no fat in it). I admit I should have taken a photo but I didn't. Just picture a chocolate cake in your head. "Voila!"

November News & Prayer Letter

2010-11-09T23:45:00.000+11:00

You should have received this by now, but if not or if it is sitting unopened in your inbox here ya go :)

Looking forward to seeing you on Saturday.

Proverbs

2010-11-09T23:20:00.000+11:00

I've been working my way through Proverbs for the last few weeks. I've tried reading it at times before, but could never really get into it until now. It's all just been words... do you get that, when you're reading God's word some times it's all just words but nothing really going in, you know that God is saying something important but you just can't understand or see it. Well that's like my relationship with Proverbs up until now. The first time I read it certain things stood out to me and now in my current reading of it many other things are standing out to me.

As I read I feel naked and exposed... as though unworthy to lie on my face before my Lord. The words speak such truths that the reality of them is hard to deny and all I can find for my mouth to do is ask for God's mercy and thank him for it in Christ Jesus.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths.
Be not wise in your own eyes;
fear the LORD, and turn away from evil.
It will be healing to your flesh
and refreshment to your bones.
(Proverbs 3:5-8 ESV)

On grocery shopping

2010-11-05T18:00:00.000+11:00

Never go shopping when you're hungry... oh and there happens to be 3 x pkts of Tim Tams for $5 :)

Jessenomics:

$15(sale price) - $26(original price) = -$11.05(saving)

$15(spend) - $11.05(saving) = $3.95(loss)

Class of 2010 CBS Women (+ Tracey)

2010-11-03T21:55:00.000+11:00

I was going to type 2nd year, but then realised that we are actually a bit of an eclectic bunch.

We are all leaving this year (except for Tracey). Em on the left who isn't an MTSer but a staffworker, she's decided that she's had enough of us after 1 year. LOL. Just kidding :) She's actually been snatch up by a lucky guy (she's also my lovely flatty for 1 more month); Me; Tracey; and Judy who's finishing up her 3rd year of MTS.

We've been having our Staff Planning Days which has been a lot of fun. I love this team and I'm super excited for all the newbies who are starting up. I'm a little bit sad that I won't get to work with them or see & be a part of the things that God is going to do on campus next year. However, this is all such an extremely joyous time. I'm very thankful. JESUS ROCKS!

Normal Abnormality

2010-11-01T10:32:00.000+11:00

A friend of mine observed that people that we hang with are all "not normal," I replied, "maybe that's what normal is." Uh the profundity!

sane same

2010-11-01T00:46:00.000+11:00

Eyes, O how you long to stare and wander,
where are you gazing?
As it is,
I see nothing
as my eyeballs try crawl under,
Deep inside the corners of my mind,
sleep where are you hiding?
I'd like my thoughts back please.
I feel as though over-ridden,
O sleep, why do you tease?

Brain full of cloudy fog,
what do you hold within?
I unlock doors unopened,
find treasures deep within.
As I peer I see a passage
it curves and winds,
left, right, left, right,
then out of sight,
some spiders take to flight.

Hippetty hop, Hippetty hop,
trot trot,
Hippetty hop, Hippetty hop,
Stop stop stop.

O hey, tis the sweet morning once again,
Sunshine through my window,
O eyes you long to open,
but thoughts remain the same.
Soon they fade
so quickly
I can hardly remember now.
What was it I dreamt so swiftly,
What was it and how?

O unknown deep and longing,
locked hidden lost within,
how you may never be found again,
for there are so many many floors and doors,
and corners and paths and time,
how it remains,
O how it remains,
One day for the sane,
and another for the same.

Alas, for there will be again
tomorrow,
another day for
dreams and sorrow,
another day for
thoughts to borrow,
another day
tomorrow.